I want to go on a date that includes a jazz club, walking in the city, and spontaneous outdoor slow dancing with a live band on a breezy 75 degree weather spring night… not to be specific or anything… I truly do wonder if there are any guys out there that know how important a date is and how crucial first impressions are. I guess I’m always constantly wondering if there is a guy who shares my knowledge and taste of what good comfort, good music, and good vibes are. To my dismay, I’m finding out little by little that it’s hard to find that nowadays.
“Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn’t make you feel good kick them to the curb and the earlier you start in your life the better. The minute anybody makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it.”—
Sometimes I wish I was born a boy because then I could wear men’s clothes… awkward. Men’s fashion is so clean (the only word that comes to mind right now) and well put-together when done right. It’s effortless and timeless and never fails to wow over and over again. Can I just work at GQ or Esquire now?
It is important to stay busy, idle hands are the devil’s play things. It is in times of leisure that misery grasps tightest and so man should be made to work, and work to the point of exhaustion. To lead a fulfilled life one has to be pre-occupied even when his peers are resting, the mind grows stagnant only when we allow it to. Leisure leads to reflection, and reflection begets false thinking, which makes may for regret. Stay busy, stay happy.
I’m happy with the comfort of knowing exactly what I need and not want in a guy. People say my standards are too high, but maybe their standards are too low. Why would you change the conditions under what you know your mind and your heart needs? The heart is a fragile thing, y’know. Why would you jump into a relationship with someone that will only bring you under, drowning you in a sea of heartbreak and endless doubts? I don’t want to get fcked in the head with constant heartbreak. I want to be with someone who will make me see things better than they are now.
The Black Keys will be in DC in March. I want to go SO BAD. But, sadly, no one here likes that kind of music aka I would have to go by myself… maybe I will just because I love TBK so damn much. How can two people make such good music (?) I miss going to concerts.
I hate starting over. I hate it so much. I have so much pent-up anger and frustration. I want to scream and cry and fight and yell. I’m so angry. I’m not talking about starting over with relationships and boys but actually starting over and trying to meet new right people. It’s so hard trying to befriend new people when you’ve already met the ones that matter the most in your life. I’ve already met the ones I’m comfortable with and can actually genuinely laugh with, not that fake ha-ha bullshit. These people are real and true: my second family. I want to go back. What the hell am I doing here.