gloria

Where are you when I need you the most

Life is getting hard and it’s getting difficult to cope. 

Summer, Summer, Summer,

always on my mind.  I just can’t wait to drive with the windows down, speakers blasting, bass pumping, and just goofing off with my best friends soul mates.  It’s been way too long since I’ve seen them and it’s not just missing them anymore.  I feel like it’s gone way beyond that because I fear I’ll never find any person remotely close to being as caring, honest, true, real, and amazing like them ever again.  There’s a fear that’s settled in that this is what the next three years will look like.  Counting down the endless days to winter break, summer break, spring break… I just hate it.  Why am I so far away?  I wish I could’ve just picked the right choice from the very start so I wouldn’t have to worry about this.  I wonder if the lessons I learn will be worth the price I pay.  I guess we’ll see after three years.  

“You look tired.”

“I hate when people say that.  Polite way of people telling you you look like shit.”

I hate caring.  I wish I could be one of those people who just don’t give a flying f*ck.  I don’t want to worry about stupid, senseless things.  Worrying consumes my mind so much and I hate myself for it.  If I really meant all the I don’t cares I say, life would be good.  I just need to breathe in and breathe out.  Breathe In, Breathe Out.