October 2010
23 posts
I am literally losing touch with everything. The only thing keeping me together is doing my school work. It’s the only thing I feel like is keeping me sane and occupied. I’m losing touch with God, church, my friends, and what it feels like to be happy. I don’t even feel motivated to go to church and every time I pray, there is this feeling of nothingness. I feel so lost and out of my element. Everything is out of my control and all the things that used to bring me happiness, I’ve worn them out. I feel like there is nowhere to escape to, nothing can bring me solace. There are bits and pieces throughout the day where I feel, not necessarily happy, but better than normal and then there are times when I feel so down and out. I tell myself to start living for myself, but really, if I do that, I will just end up shutting everyone out. I tell myself that God has a plan for me, that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes, it just seems so dim and faraway that I can’t believe and I don’t want to. When I used to read that people said they never felt so alone, I could never understand or grasp that. But now, I know exactly that feeling and it is the worst in the world.
“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”
—Marilyn Monroe (via joanloves)
“To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free.”
—(via acronyms)
“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on—series polygamy—until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
—Tom Robbins (via iamnotawhore)
School.
trying to listen to a lesson:
teacher asks me a question:
someone trying to be funny
slow moving bitches in the hallway
pop quiz
bitches whining to me about their boring life
we have homework?
HOME TIME
green eyes- Coldplay
In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then, there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you still do.
